Embrace the Mom Guilt Challenge: Transform Your Parenting Journey

The Mom Guilt Challenge Guide

Introduced in my book “Breaking the Habit of Mom Guilt”

I call this a challenge because it will push you outside of your comfort zone. It’s not easy to break old habits and start new ones, so be easy on yourself when you first get started. This is not about perfection, but about bettering your best each day. This challenge is not something you do just when you are home. If you are on vacation or traveling away from home, preplan for what your hour needs to look like, and adjust your plans so you keep your agreement with yourself.

Now, in preparation for the first step, read below on the Power Hour and its four main pillars so you understand each one. I go over them more in-depth in my book as well. I encourage the reader to optimize their experience.

The Four Pillars of Power Hour:

1) Passion and Purpose

2) Power (Self-Love/ Self-Care)

3) Positive Circle of Influence (POS COI)

4) Profit – Expand your income

For each pillar, you will do a 15-minute exercise that will help you build confidence and self-respect. These four pillars are the foundation of your day. Once you figure out what it looks like for you, it is important to hit each pillar in some way every morning, as they support each other. It is okay and normal if you fall off here and there, but try to get back on track as soon as you realize it. Think of it like a barstool. If one leg breaks, you may be able to shift your weight to the other three for a while, but eventually it will tip.

ONE: Passion and Purpose

Your passion is what you love to do that gets you excited. Something that comes easily and naturally that you can do without any effort. The purpose is using your passion to help others. This is simple, but it may not be easy. Spend up to 15 minutes doing something related to your passion and purpose. It could be reading, writing, singing, reviewing goal cards, prayer, meditation, painting, drawing, or just being in the moment figuring out your passion. I use this time to focus on my faith because that is where I found my passion and the courage to live in my purpose. I read the Bible and then journal to better understand what I read and the ways I can apply it to my life. Spending this solitude time with Jesus helps to keep me at peace and centered. It eases my stress and calms my worries.

TWO: Power (Self-Love/ Self-Care)

This pillar is focused on your health and what fuels your power. Even though it looks different for everyone, the outcome is the same: greater inner strength. For 15 minutes, do whatever nourishes and energizes your body, mind, and spirit. Move your body! This doesn’t mean you have to start some crazy workout routine. Just get your adrenaline going and your endorphins released. Let me tell you, it is better than any cup of coffee you could drink, and I am a coffee snob. Stimulate your mind! Your mind wants to think, so give it something helpful to think about. Read inspirational books or magazines, and journal. I also love doing daily affirmations in front of the mirror. Energize your spirit! Your spirit naturally wants peace and happiness, so do whatever fuels that feeling. Prayer, meditation, breathing exercises, and intentional laughter are great methods for peace and happiness. I use the “Insight Timer” app and listen to “Manifesting A Positive Day” since it is a great mood setter. You know what is best for nourishing yourself, so go ahead and do it. You just need to permit yourself to love YOU first without generating feelings of Mom Guilt. I started with a small, easy workout just to move my body, then threw in a few minutes of meditation and a couple of minutes focused on positive affirmations that build my confidence. The way you talk to yourself matters, so I highly recommend finding affirmations that get you fired up. When you find what works for you, you will want to do it consistently. I promise this will end up being one of your favorite parts of the day.

THREE: Positive Circle of Influence

Initially, when you start during these 15 minutes, you will take a close look at and evaluate all your relationships nd decide which ones are worth preserving or restoring, and which need to be discarded. Your ultimate objective is to clean out the negativity and commit to ONLY building a positive circle of influence. I learned the meaning of this from Gretna Carey at Zac’s Ridge, and she referred to it as “POS-COI.” This can be tricky because some of the people you may want to distance yourself from could be close friends or family, maybe even your spouse or partner. When it comes to clearing out the negativity from people close to you, this can be a very delicate situation. Make sure you seek professional help so that you transition with the least amount of resistance and in a mutually beneficial manner. Once you have established who fits into your positive circle of influence, then use these 15 minutes on the ones who support you, pour into you, speak life into you, shine a light on your dark days, and encourage you. For me, this looks like journaling and texting. I write whatever is on my heart. First, a journal entry for myself is usually just my thoughts and emotions at that moment. It could be a letter to my bestie, Trinity (what I call God), or reaching out for guidance for something I am struggling with. Then, a letter to my husband and one to my daughter, Brynlee. It usually talks about what she did the day before, things she’s saying or doing that I want to remember, and my feelings at the time.

FOUR: Profit

This is the pillar for your financial health. Just as you need to take care of your body, mind, and spirit, you also need to be financially responsible. When you first start this pillar, dedicate your 15 minutes toward evaluating how you are spending your money and if your current income situation is going to realistically keep you going. If you are enrolled in shopping therapy like I was, this would be a good time to look more closely at that and quit the habit because it is not a healthy way to find love and connection with yourself, and is masking your need for personal growth. This is also a good time to evaluate your source of income. If you are not the primary income earner in your family, what would your situation look like if there were a medical emergency or death, and you lost your source of income? Are you prepared for that? Do you have the proper insurance policies in place? This is critical because if you don’t address these, you are setting yourself up for some major Mom Guilt if you can’t support your kids financially. Once you have your finances in order, start to use these 15 minutes to learn something new that can become a source of income for you—something you love and enjoy. You also want to spend time learning and improving in your current career if you have one. If you do not want to work and truly just want to be home with your kids, and you can make that happen, use these 15 minutes to research ways you can help them learn and grow so that they can become successful adults.

Join our FB group "The Mom Guilt Movement" to stay up to date and find other moms who struggle with mom guilt. Let them be your village and shoulder when you need it.

Author: Shila Marie