"I met a 33-year-old atheist for coffee yesterday"

"I met a 33-year-old atheist for coffee yesterday"

She pulled in the parking lot, blasting Cardi B “Wap, Wap, Wap” with her almost 2-year-old daughter in tow.

When they walked in, she looked stressed, so I passed her a smile, but she did not see me because she was in such a rush, or what she liked to call “on a mission”.

She got her daughter a cake pop, grabbed herself a large, iced black and white mocha with an extra shot of espresso, and started scanning the café for me.

When we locked eyes, hers widened, and her head pulled back a little in shock. She walked over to me, looking me up and down, and said, “Wow, you look different. I mean, not in a bad way, but you have changed, what has it been, 5 years?”.

I smiled at her and gave her a hug that said, “Honey, if you only knew”, but I said nothing out loud.

I greeted her daughter with a smile, and she hugged me as if she knew exactly who I was. She grabbed the phone from her mom and asked her for Cocomelon.

After setting her daughter up so we could have an uninterrupted conversation, she looked over and saw me drinking water and said, “I am sorry, I should have grabbed us 2 of these, I thought you already ordered”.

I told her, “I actually don’t drink coffee anymore. I did not realize that it was causing me a lot of anxiety.” She laughed and made a joke that the idea of life without coffee gave her anxiety. I laughed with her and asked how she had been.

She responded with “good, umm we got a new house, work is busy but can’t complain, a little stressed with that and mom life, I feel lonely sometimes, but I am good, I am fine, what about you? What have you been up to over the last 5 years?

I wanted to ask more, but I knew her well enough to know she would not elaborate on her response, so I responded with “Well, I found God”, and before I could keep talking, she almost choked on her last sip of coffee while she let out a disbelieving laugh and said, “Really?”

“Yes”, I responded, “he met me in my living room on November 20th, 2020, and pulled me out of the pit I had been living in,” I told her that I sold my business and became a stay-at-home mom.

“What? You, a SAHM? You are too independent for that,” she said, “how did you like it?”

I told her, “I struggled to feel like it was enough, so I ended up starting another business, I wrote a book about mom guilt, and then my marriage fell apart, and I moved back to Arizona.”

Her face looked shocked, but her eyes said they saw it coming, and her mouth did not say a word.

She then asked, “What happened from the time you moved to Arizona to now?”

I shook my head and said “Oh, a LOT, I don’t know if we have enough time, or if you have enough coffee for that”.

She said, “Try me!”

So I continued to tell her... “I had to go back to work and put my daughter in school. I spent 2 years isolated in a new town with the Lord, He brought me an amazing community of people I could trust. I was in bible studies, went to church every Sunday, but still I fell into sin. I repented and started making anointing oil, and switched to reading my bible to understand God, not to understand the text itself. Then, The Lord redeemed my marriage…”

She stopped me and said, “Wait a second, you and Bryan are back together?” I smiled and said, “Yes, and all the things that I thought were an issue back before our divorce, never even come up now”.

She sat back in her chair in awe. I could see the wheels spinning in her head. She then asked, “if you could go back, would you still have left?”

“Oh, that is the million-dollar question, love. If I knew then what I know now? No, I would not have left, but the Lord took it and turned it for good, and now we are living in Las Vegas and...”

She interrupted again, “Las Vegas??? You hate Las Vegas!”

“You are right, I did, but I am seeing and learning to love what God is doing within that city, it is amazing! A lot of prayer went into the decision; it was not made lightly. I might have thrown a fit, but I trust the Lord and I know this is not His final plan, but I am living where my feet are.”

She sat looking at me, confused. Like, suddenly she did not know me at all. Not only did I look different to her, but I talked differently, I was no longer the boss babe fully in control of her life. Instead, a surrendered, Jesus-loving, God fearing, husband-respecting, Christian woman. She was intrigued that someone could change me because she knew me better than that. It scared her, and she was not ready to be that vulnerable, so she said, “Well, I am glad you are doing so good. We should keep in touch,” and she stood up to leave.

I hugged her and whispered, “You are not alone. I hope we can get together again soon. If not, let’s plan to meet back here in another 5 years. I might be the one who does not recognize you.”

She laughed and said, “I highly doubt that, this is who I am”.

I reached down and kissed her daughter on the cheek and told her, “You were made to be unique, don’t ever feel like being different is a bad thing”. The little one smiled, not knowing what that meant, then she reached for her mom's hand, and they started walking away.

As they got to the café doors, the mom turned around and said, “I love you, Shila”.

I smiled, trying to hold back tears, and replied, “I love you too, Shila”.

Author: Shila Russell

Date: 10/8/2025